*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he wanted to be wanted.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
Me so horny! Me so horny!
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
Why'd I cum all over your mummy's panties? 'Cause she's hot af.
LOLOLOOLOLLOL
This dick ain't gon to suck itself.
<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
