Depression jokes

Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...

A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"

Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"

Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."

Brother:......

Why can't you kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.

There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)

I will pay someone to kill me.

I like Cheetos.

The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.

It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...