Depression jokes
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."