Depression jokes
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
"kys" (keep yourself safe).
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.