Depression jokes

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

What do you call a depressed person?

Me.

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.

But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?

Pour bleach on it.

My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.

People who put jokes on here re: Depression are really not nice people, you yourselves are a fucking joke. 😩👎

Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

6 hours later

Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.

Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.

They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.

Why did the depressed person cross the road?

To get run over.

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...