Depression jokes
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!