Depression jokes
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Sleep, but make it forever.
Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?