Depression jokes
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Sleep, but make it forever.
Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?
Friend 2: Yup.
Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......