Depression jokes
I will pay someone to kill me.
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.