Depression jokes
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...