Depression jokes
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.