Depression jokes
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!