Depression jokes

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

I like Cheetos.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

Why did the depressed kid cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.

Life is like a game of chess.

I don’t know how to play chess.

What do gay people get for Christmas?

Discrimination.

What do you say before you jump off a building?

Parkour!

"Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Depression"

"Depression wh-"

ME!! *runs away*

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3

Boy/girl: I love you.

Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.

The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*

How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.