Demise jokes
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!