Demand jokes

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"

Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

Feminists should STFU and suck my dick!

A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.

The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.

"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

STOP THE FRICKING ORPHAN JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THEM NOW! STOP THEM NOW NOW NOW N.O.W.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

Can you f**k out of here?

Karen says:

A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

"It's a strip steak, sir."

"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

What do we want? Racecar noises!

When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"