Delivery jokes
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.