Delivery jokes
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.