Delivery jokes
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Memes
Anyone seen these lately?
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."