Delivery jokes
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
Memes
Anyone seen these lately?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.