Delivery Jokes

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car? Open a pizza shop 🍕

did you know? about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark

Stephen Hawking tried comedy. His first line ruined it. 'You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand.'

heres a list of puns not all of them are mine

1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Why were 9/11 victims so mad? The ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

where do u order nonbinary pizza?

little xe/xyrs

The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane

What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? 2 planes

What kinda pizza did the twin towers order? Two plains

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My dad is now a milkman Now i have over 50 brothers and sisters

What did the mom say when her child came out? "The head was so big"

why did the mailman come to the house? To come back with the milk

The mailman daddy to drop the mail off. Me ( son ) I and tell my mommy daddy home. Mommy tells me you got no daddy, then I say I hear you always call the mailman daddy.

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver driver have in common? Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off then he ask if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah the thing is my mom was coming out the shower naked and when she open the door it was me and the mailman. Now when the mailman sees me he says to me we got something in common we both saw your mom naked.