Death jokes
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Kms.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.