Death jokes
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
Memes
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.