Death jokes

What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.

But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.

Who will be told? Oh wait.

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.

"Are you getting the knife?"

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.

Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."

I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.