Death jokes
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.