Death jokes

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

What's white, red, and screams a lot?

A baby in a blender.

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?

They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"

What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

Bully: You're gonna die.

Me: Hurry up then.

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

What do you call a nine year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

A: Depends how hard you throw them.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

What do classical musicians do when they die?

They decompose.

Roses are red, I wish you were dead.

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔