Death jokes

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

Why can't an orphan live peacefully?

Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

My friend died from Ligma!

Ligma balls.

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!