Death jokes
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.