You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end
What did the suicidal leperchaun say Irish i was dead
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Dr. Seuss Died September 24 but that was a lie Dr. Seuss when he was 97 he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes Dr. Seuss allahuakbar”
Technically suicide is murder and murder is ilegal so if I kill myself my body should go to jail
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy
Did yk that you can die from laughing??? Well that’s why I laugh so much
Just noticed something all celebrities die bad except for Elvis he had a relief after Taco Bell 🔔
In 2011 Stephen Hawking said there is no God, 2018 God said there is no Steve Hawking
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain
ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Man, chocking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die
If I die delete my search history
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks "What's so magical about it?" the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.
The bartender shakes his head, and says.
"Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words ... through the pillow.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
