What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, "What's up?". The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "the sky!", but the other friend intervenes and says, "no it's the ceiling!". To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "unless you're homeless or six feet under."
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head befor he died?
His elbow.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
where do u take Stephen hawking when he dies
the apple repair store
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "this lemonade tastes like bleach..."
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
My grandfather died at atshuitz Poor fella fell of the guard tower
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10 and his hard drive corrupted
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
Aj died in a bar
The end
