New Death Jokes - Page 47 - Worst Jokes Ever

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.

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How did Michael Jackson die?

Because he danced like a zombie!

I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."

Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.