Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
you know Sally? she's dead now
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Once a pon a time lived a fat ass named steve and got rabies and died the end!
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
What happens when Steven hawking dies?
Take his I pad to cash convertes
you
What do u call a pedophile who's dying? you.
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
Where would you take Stephen hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC world
What happens when Stephen hawking dies? The windows shutdown sound plays.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."
My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
For sale: Dead Canary.
Not going cheep.
