Death jokes
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
Technoblade never got a wife.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)