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Death

Death jokes

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?

In hope to find a mummy.

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"