Why drink water and not bleach?
if i die does my depression die with me?
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death? His hide and seek skills
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
