Death jokes
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.