Death jokes
If George Floyd was in the new Little Mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs I took plenty Now I can’t breathe
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
Parents...
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!