Death jokes
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Me die.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.