Death jokes
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.
Where was Stephen Hawking buried?
In a black hole. 😂🤣
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.