Death jokes
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?