What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
