How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Paul Walker died Fast and Furious
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.