Death jokes
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.