Dead jokes
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Memes
Why is Broly always mad?
Answer: His bros dead.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.