Day Jokes

Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side my truck doesn't even have a dent.

what is sharks favourite day chewsday

Hi oooo was the day I was a kid I was going home to school today after dinner 🍽

if the average male walks 1.7 miles a day then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk

What day should you drink water? Thursday, Thirstday

My uncle got really badly burned the other day. They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got to violent and now their sister(World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption and the planes were given back to their owners.

Why did a girl like bananas?Because one day she might need to be ready.

One day i was passing a blind man and i gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer next day i went for another walk and saw his grave

I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.

But one day I realized, they Israel

Who ever is reading this I hope you have good day because I feel bad your so short

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do u call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do u call it life?

Type this in your calculator: 5 days a week (type in 5), 6 different classes (type in 6), 7 hours a day (type in 7), x 2 semesters (type in 2), = flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)