Day jokes

I wish I was a toe because I want to be banged all day.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Where does the resistor go after a long day?

It goes Ohm.

The udder day I drank milk.

It was udderly delicious!

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

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/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log

Thank you, -Connor