Day

Day Jokes

I always tslk to my taco before I eat it. One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to Taco bout it

I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.

0

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

0

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible. They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionarys. Things went from bad to worse.

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

3

There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.

When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."

The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."

"Shut up."

"No, I need to know your name."

"Shut up."

"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"

"Round the corner picking up shit."

3

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

8

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

3

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.