Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
dad i hate you
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.
I love ❤️ taking my daughter out in the car 🚙 every time we go over a speed bump I tell her we ran over another dog 🐕😂
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy
we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time
then, she asked me flirtatiously
"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet".
She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys
opens her door
turn on the light
and she yells towards upstairs
"Mom, are you still awake?”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes and that’s when he realized..... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter
Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. " Guess what Angelica!" said the little girl
"What?" Angelica replied
"I'm a guy."
Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: *tooth hurty* Dad: all right
What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hit-her!
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "the exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
911, what’s your emergency? I asked, and listening to the quiet sobs of a litte kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me” the girl said and cried making me freeze on the spot as i recognized my daughter’s voice.
mommy when will daddy come back? I'm not your mom...
A father came to his daughters 18th birthday he finally came
Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
