Daughter Jokes

So a mom and a dad are having sex, their daughter comes down and says, "mommy mommy, what are you doing?" The mom goes, "Uh, were making a cake, let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow." So the next day they go to the park and two teens are going at it in some bushes and the little girl goes,"mommy mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake, let's go back home." So they go home and the mom tucked her Indo bed and says "tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo and two monkeys are going at it and the girl goes "my mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake let's go back home." And so they go home and the girl goes "mommy, did you and daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says "n-no why?" And the little girl goes "because I licked the icing off the couch."

saddest youtube comment :(

htf5555 2 years ago
>be 4 years ago
>at mom's house
>chilin
>she gives me a list of chores to do while her and my sister get
groceries
>tells me no ps2 until chores are done
>ehokay.jpg
>folding laundry while watching tv
>switch to news
>story says
>"Local woman and daughter killed in car accident"
>my mom and sister have died
>be 4 years later
>want taste of nostalgia
>open up ps2
>in the disc compartment there was a note
>Wiley, Wiley, Wiley, I told you not to play your ps2 before chores
are done. Well son, I love you to death and I want to cut you some
slack. You can play your game station until I come back with hugs
and kisses :) xoxo-Love Mom
>never came home
>rever got my hugs and kisses

After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!

I looked at my daughter, I told her what's wrong.

She said, I wasn't being a daddy to her, until..

Royce Lopez →
@hippojuicefilm
Jay-z looks like a black grandma sick of raising her
daughter's kids.

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship and I don't have time for you asap daughter daughter or your mother or your call or your choice of choice

A woman goes to buy a parrot There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks she asks why the last one is so cheap The man at the counter say "It used to live in a brothel/sex house" The lady buys it anyway When she gets home it say fuck me a new brothel when her daughters get home it says fuck me 2 new prozzies when the father gets home the parrot says fuck me daryl, havent see you in the brothel in weeks

I want him to make me look like this 😔

Netflix: are you still watching?
Somebody's daughter:
20

"Man if only I had a place to put out
my cigarette"
My daughter's forehead:

Not now..

This city slicker broke down on a country road, he look around and in the distance he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there he asked the farmer if he has a phone he could use because his had no reception. The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married and the farmer said if you marry my daughter I’ll give you half my farm...the guy said lemme see her...the farmer hollered “hey you” get over here...and she said duh ok. The ol boy looked at her and said nooo thank you. The father said I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....the ol boy thought for a minute and said “we’ll I guess I can put a sack over her head” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything. One day the guy was up fixin the roof and Holland hey you get me some nails...his wife said duh nails, nails he said yes nails and showed her one she said “oh dun nails nails” he said yes nails. So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb and he yells oh F. . . It! and she turned and Hollered Duh A Sack A Sack Duh A Sack!