Daughter Jokes

Me:Mom can I have some make up. Mom: no. You are beautiful just the way you. Me:So that’s why you were make up.

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said "sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE" then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.

jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV His daughter comes in and says "dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! Its because when you were born a rose peddle fell on your head." "Cool" Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said "dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied,"Oh! its because when you were a baby, a daisy peddle fell on your head." "Awesome" Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty and now they have a daughter

Secret Jill didn’t go in the shit yet jack went in first and died :D

What does the 14 year old and the fetus inside her have in common. They both say, "Ohh sh*t my mom is going to kill me."

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

I got written up on 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day.' Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story - she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , - the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma'am this item is worthless "

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk, Molly walked into a bar, her mom laughed and walked under it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".