Daughter jokes
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.