Daughter jokes

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.

Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?

Chelsea Clinton.

My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.

We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

Why was Kobe a good father?

He took his daughter with him.

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.

"Good night, Mom."

"Good night, Dad."

"Good night, Mamah."

"Good bye, Papa."

The next day her papa died.

He heard her saying them a month later.

"Good night, Mom."

"Good night, Dad."

"Good bye, Mamah."

The next day her mamah died.

Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.

"Good night, Mom."

"Good bye, Dad."

The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.