Daughter jokes

"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

Why was Kobe a good father?

He took his daughter with him.

My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

Who named their daughter Macadamia?

A couple of nuts.

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

What do you call a lion as a baby?

Cocota

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)