Dating jokes
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Who thinks that Prince should just avoid Qwen and just continue the relationship?
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Hi, I'm a girl gamer looking for a hot bf.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."