If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
Dating Jokes
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
