Dating jokes

Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

My ex.

You guys wanna hear a joke?

My LOVE LIFE.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.