Dating jokes

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"

Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

My ex.

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.

You guys wanna hear a joke?

My LOVE LIFE.

If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!