Dating jokes
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card. She's not sick, I just think she can do better.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Hey, this is to orphans:
"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.