Dating jokes

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?

You can drop her off anywhere.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

Ever heard of account stealing?

Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."

Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.