Dating jokes

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Hey, this is to orphans:

"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"

Who wants to be my boyfriend?

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

Because I'm a beta male simp.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.