Dating jokes

Girlfriend

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

  • 6
  • Walk

    I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

    Chloroform

    So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

  • 3
  • Online dating

    As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

    Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

  • 4
  • Memes

    Emo girl

    Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

    9/11

    (This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

    Girl

    In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

  • 2
  • Phone

    Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

    Stripper

    Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

    Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

    Flamingo

    My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

  • 1
  • Rape

    Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

    Girl

    What do girls and rocks have in common?

    The flat ones get skipped.