Dating Jokes

What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date.

Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him Sudden Lee.

at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I'm a butcher

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK

Why were the twin towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same!

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".

Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your Father."!!!

Where do you buy a dishwasher. Hot singles in your area

Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.

I want to date depression cuz at least ik they wont leave me

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling

What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A U-Haul.

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.