Dating jokes
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
village girls of africa
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same!
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.