Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? Thatβs how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Dating Jokes
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Whatβs the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
My love life.
