Dating jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
O Dario tem namorada?
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.