Dating jokes
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
O Dario tem namorada?
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.