Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Dating Jokes
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
