Dating jokes
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.