Dating jokes

Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

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  • Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    *on a date*

    me - "I get to work with animals all day."

    her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

    me - "I'm a butcher."

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  • What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

    Same time next month?

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  • I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

    Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

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  • At a date:

    He: "I work with animals every day."

    Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

    He: "I'm a butcher."

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