Dating jokes

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his ass.

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?

I want your booty!

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?

Kinder

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?

An expiration date.

Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?

There's 20 of them.

Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn't want to see the bill.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.