Dating jokes
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.