What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Dating Jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
My chance of finding love.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
