Date jokes
Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Memes
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"