Date jokes

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.

USA: "Never forget 9/11."

Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Why does the basketball never get a date?

Because they dribble.

Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn't want to see the bill.

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

Which planet would I consider dating?

I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.

Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?

Because he is always talking about his honey.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...

I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"