Date jokes

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

What do you call an emo dating another emo?

The suicide duo.

Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.

I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?

She was date raped.

Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.

I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

Why is it better to date an orphan?

Their parents are never home.

It was 9/10.

Why is 4/20 such an epic date?

Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

This is not a joke. Stop online dating.

How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3